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Student Model

This model is based on an essay submitted by fourth-grader Mia. She uses some vivid verbs and sensory details—“devour juicy caramel-covered apples,” “crisp fall breeze,” “soft spring trickles of rain splashing the sidewalks,” “warm summer sun”—to help the reader experience her favorite place.

My Favorite Place to Go

Do you have a favorite place to go—a place with family, good weather, and fun things to do like crabbing? I’m glad I do. New Jersey is my favorite place for many reasons.

The first reason is my family. Over half of my family lives in New Jersey. When I visit, my cousins and I laugh and play all day and night. My uncles and aunts take me to the boardwalk where we ride tall, long roller coasters. We devour juicy caramel-covered apples and foot-long hot dogs. My family is fun to be with.

The second reason for New Jersey being my favorite place is the weather. Instead of being hot and sweaty, it’s always cool and moist. When I think about my visits, I can just feel the crisp fall breeze in my hair. I can just see the white, fluffy winter snow. I can just hear the soft spring trickles of rain splashing on the sidewalks. I can just feel the warm summer sun on my face. The weather is great!

The third reason for New Jersey being my favorite place is crabbing. If it’s crab season, we crab. We keep the blue crabs and the snow crabs, and we let the others go. Sometimes we catch crabs on hooks, and sometimes we lower crab cages into the bay. Then we pull them out later. One time my brother caught a crab so big that it got stuck in the crab cage! The crab finally got out, but it hurt one of its legs and broke the cage trying. Poor crab!

For all these reasons, New Jersey is my favorite place to go. If you don’t have a favorite place, I think you should search for one. It’s good to visit a favorite place—a place where you can make special memories. By the way, if you crab at your special place, be sure to get a big crab cage.